That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
