It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
