you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We got so high we made milksteak
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
