I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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