it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
