and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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