I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
