How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize