she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
