so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
