The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
