I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
