We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
