"it" just moved
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
