i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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