PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
