grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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