At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Pappa wants mamma naked
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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