there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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