we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
