Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
