oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
