he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
