and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
