Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
