I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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