Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
