I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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