omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
