i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
