I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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