just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
