Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think i got beer on your cat.
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