we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
