She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
