I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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