I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
