True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
