first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
