Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
