I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
