I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
