we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.