ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver