addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
