Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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