The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
