My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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