i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
