How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
