? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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