It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize