wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
