my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize