sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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