So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We left an ass print on the piano.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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