Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
