If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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