Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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