If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
