sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
