i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My feet surprised me
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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