Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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