I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
