Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
